Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My Friend's Sentiments

I am not really good in giving advices coz I myself have a number of problems to address to but I wonder why some friends wish to share their sentiments with me. I was peeping on some friends’ Facebook accounts when a message popped up on my page. A friend caught me online and we were hooked chatting all night. She brought up a topic of some little uncertainties that she is finding some rationalization. I am posting that little hassle (that’s her term to it) of hers here.

And what do you think is troubling her? Well, it’s none other but the bitter half, err… better half, .. her husband of 28 years to be exact. She said she doesn’t actually looks at it as a problem though it’s been bothering her lately. She doesn’t know what to think of regarding the actions she’s seeing from him. In the length of years of their marriage, (almost as long as ours) she said she should have been very familiar with him. But still, she couldn’t understand his ways sometimes. To cut her story short, she thinks her husband is meaningfully trying to convey to her that she’s no longer loved coz he seldom spends time in their home anymore. On weekdays, he would often come home late at night that sometimes would stretch to early mornings. The alibis he gives her are meetings to attend to, dinners with business officials, treats to give to government officials, a funeral wake to attend, a sports competition and a lot more others. While on weekdays, she said he would be up from bed before dawn and would leave to play his favorite sport of badminton. In short, she’s turning KSP or “Kulang Sa Pansin” . (translate: lacking in attention). More so, when the husband won’t bother spending even just a little time to talk to her about anything when he comes home or even at anytime they're alone. It’s as if she doesn’t exist there. She feels worst when the husband is too insensitive to her emotional needs. I was wordless when she revealed that they sleep together in one bed but back to back I can’t tell her that I pity her coz that would only make her feel more miserable. The best advise I gave her was to just allow him to do his thing and she just keep herself busy and not rely her happiness on him. But ain’t it too hurting? She's like a doormat to him , I presume. I feel bad for her. but how can I help her?

In fairness to the husband, which is also a friend of mine, he seems to be a responsible family man. The family is well provided for except for limited time he spends with them. I would never know that my friend is suffering deep within if she didn't tell. I hope to help her by mentioning to her husband about it but she begged not to. She would rather wait for things to come to its proper places in the right time. How and when? "It will come”, and so she believes.

I can't say so much about my friend. I just know she talks a lot and speaks her mind. She said she'll be crazy if she can't say what she feels. I feel sorry for her. I'm just hoping that she would one day find what she's longing for so she would no longer feel "KSP"!

9 Comentários:

chubskulit said...

Tsk.tsk.tsk mahirap nga yan TitaB, spending ample time with family is the best thing and if he can't provide, it is a big problem.

Baka naman may "other" hehehe.

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Beng Gee, regret to read of your friend's problems.
I personally know of a couple of similar situations involving our friends here.

But this is their problem, and even though I am a ha ha, busybody....only with unattached women in distress....I will not get involved. As the chances of losing two friends is very strong.

There is always two sides to a story. 2 hands only can clap.
I presume you know her very well, or he.
For all we know he is busy, but then again, from reading your posting, seems like he is ignoring her.
I used that word, 'ignoring' as he is hardly home.

Only 4 answers here.
1/ He is having a relationship with another woman.
2/ He is involved with his work, (business?)
3/ She is no longer attractive to him, maybe in dressing, behaviour, home life, no humour, whatever?
4/ He is having personal problems he maybe doesn't want her to know.
MAYBE, financial? Maybe business bad? OR...health problems, a serious one.

Maybe you on your part just casually but slowly, discreetly learn more about her before trying to help her. Be a Sherlock Holmes, ha ha, sniff around.

Right now you only know her story...and men on the whole not the 'seek help from friends' type.
My advice not to see him about this, or you MIGHT get into a bit of warm water, if you know what I mean.
Just keep your ears open, eyes too and you might learn more.
Hope things will be okay with your friend.
Best regards, Mabuhay, Lee.

teJan said...

Its not a good sign but its one of the possibilities that can happen the longer our relationship will be, if not taking care of.

Thats why its very important to renew our marriages at least once a year...to refresh so to speak!

Well.., its just a matter of communication! best regards to your friend:) godbless!

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imelda said...

hirap nito, sana pag usapan nila what's going wrong. its not good to drag things the ugly way.

PinayWAHM said...

Ang hirap naman ng sitwasyon mo. Kaya ako madalas 'invisible' pag online...kahit sa FB. I'm not good in giving 'payo' so umiiwas na lang ako...hahaha...

I hope and pray your friend finds the answers to her 'questions' in due time. Para atang di ko kayang manahimik if I'm being 'treated' that way....

Weather is great now Ate Beng. Not too hot, not too cold. It rains every now and then but it usually lasts for an hour or so lang. Thanks for asking and for the visit...


海綿寶寶 said...

Necessity is the mother of invention..........................

DebbieDana said...

I feel sorry for your friend but Id rather not give any more comments, just to be safe, hehe!

Anyway, thank you for the visit ate Beng, musta na? Hope everything's well with you and your family. Ingat jan.

Debbie :)

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